Archive for the ‘Crisis’ Category

beagley So, I’ve been trying to write a blog post for days now, but nothing’s coming. The problem is not that there’s nothing going on. The problem is that there’s too much going on and honestly, where do I freaking begin?

Some stuff I can’t discuss, namely the stuff at work. Work is completely ridiculous right now. Things are happening in upper management that are just drastically changing the face of how my company has always done things. Employees are nervous, scared, confused, upset, frustrated, angry—you name it. There is very little communication. Couple all of that with what’s going on with the economy and you have a pretty good idea of the chaotic mess we face daily. Not good.

Dad had quadruple bypass surgery 10 days ago at Rochester General and is doing great! He was discharged this past Monday and is happy to be back at the nursing home. I’m still having a really hard time balancing all this Dad stuff. It takes so much time from not just me, but Craig too. Finances, appointments, visits, needs, wants—it is definately alot. And then dealing with his sister, who’s been such a huge bitch, is just another headache. She called on Sunday around 7 or 8pm, the night before he was discharged, telling me she and her family were coming for a visit this coming weekend from PA & MD. Several times, I very patiently explained why I thought this was not a good idea. He’s just getting discharged, he needs recovery time, he will be very tired and not really up for an extended visit. She told me in no uncertain terms that she comes “now or not at all.” She also was intent on asking wildly inappropriate questions, such as how we’re paying for his care. *shakes her head*

She doesn’t understand. This is not about her. It’s about him. Let the man have some recovery time for crying out loud, before you come blasting your way up here, expecting all day visits. Saying you’re coming now or not at all, doesn’t punish me, it punishes him. I could give a shit whether you came or not. In fact, it would be one less headache for me if you stayed home. And it is absolutely none of her business how we’re paying for anything! Of course, I said none of this to her in the spirit of niceness, getting along and respecting one’s elders.

She didn’t hear a word I said the entire conversation, but rather competed by talking over me. Just like my dad does. I just let her do it. She was rude and classless, and bullied me for information, while I was nice to the Nth degree and tolerant, oh so tolerant. At the end of the conversation, I was left with the impression that she will do whatever the hell she wants to do, regardless. I think she thinks I am deterring her visit because she believes I’m hiding something from her and so now she’ll be more determined than ever to get up here this weekend. Grrrrrr. Let the poor man have some rest!!!!

I feel stressed. I feel like I have no control over my life. I feel like my life really isn’t even my own any more. It sucks. THIS SUCKS. And there is no light at the end of the tunnel.

There is some good stuff though. *sparklygrin* I’m enrolled in bellydance classes again-actually my 8 week course is almost over and it’s nearly time to sign up again. I took a hoopdance class as well this time around and absolutely loved it. I’m completely hooked now. As soon as my instructor posts her new class schedule, I’ll be signing up again for that as well and bringing a friend or two with me.

Thanks to Facebook, I’m back in touch with my cousin John (from my mom’s side) *grinwavies* as well as a few other people I’d kinda lost track of. Yay! I heart Facebook.

We saw Fleetwood Mac in March and had mad awesome seats!!!! Craig had gotten us tickets for my birthday the day they had gone on sale. Then a couple weeks before the concert, I won two more tickets, also pretty great seats, and gave those to a friend of mine and her boyfriend. It was such an AWESOME show. I loved it!!!!!! And I was sooo sad when it was over-I didn’t want it to ever end. Lindsay, Stevie and Mick all looked fantastic and performed as though they enjoyed every second of it. It was a magical night!

The nice weather is slowly starting to get here. Yay! I’m excited about doing gardening and flowers and vegetables again this year.

My inlaws are moving back to this area from TN. They close on their new house in May, so that’s pretty exciting. We’ll be glad to have them back.

I’m rereading the entire Laurell K. Hamilton “Anita Blake” collection and so I haven’t really read anything new, so to speak, in awhile. I’m on the 14th one right now-“Danse Macabre.” These later books are so full of the ardeur-it sometimes gets a little tiring, but I do still enjoy them. Once, I’m done with those, I wanna reread Charlaine Harris’ “Sookie Stackhouse” series, hopefully before the new season of True Blood starts! *happysigh* I lovelovelove that show. That alone is worth the cost of HBO, not to mention the Tudors and Big Love and all the other great series.

I’m also addicted to The United States of Tara on Showtime.

I guess that’s about it for now. Happy Hump Day! We’re almost to the weekend-yay! Now, if I can just make it though the rest of the day…..



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oneday I know, I know. I start posting again only to just disappear without a warning. Didn’t you know that dropping off the face of the earth is one of my best things? Really. It’s true.

Actually, I had intended to just step away for a few days to enjoy the holidays, but as is the tradition in our family, drama-rama happens.

The Saturday after Xmas, we found our water heater had been dying a slow and agonizing death in the basement, probably for several days, as the basement floor was covered in a few inches of water. Luckily, we have a guy and he was able to come over pretty quickly to help take care of things. Craig and Bob popped over to Home Depot, picked up a new water heater, and within a matter of hours, we were all good.

That following Monday I got a call at work from my dad’s neighbor that the ambulance was there and my dad was on his way to the hospital. They weren’t sure what was wrong, other than he had fallen and cut his finger pretty badly. Turns out he had had a heart attack and a stroke, and had fallen twice, dislocating his shoulder as well as lacerating a finger pretty badly. I had taken Wednesday and Friday off to take advantage of the scheduled holiday, and so instead of enjoying a small vacation, I ended up driving in a panic down to Utica to care for my dad. I’ve been going down every weekend since.

His shoulder has been repaired and he’s had a pacemaker put in. He’s now in a stroke recovery facility where he will stay for about six weeks. After that it’s back to the hospital for a bypass. He’s in pretty good spirits for the most part, and seems a lot better since they’ve installed the pacemaker. He has none of the facial lameness that typically accompanies a stroke, though he does have some speech slurring and he’s having issues walking and keeping his balance.

I am exhausted, physically and emotionally just spent. I’m bummed because I have all these things I want to accomplish this year and I haven’t really been able to focus on anything except my dad and just getting through each day.

Prior to this happening, I was doing really well with eating healthy foods, counting my cals and exercising when I could. I’d lost quite a big chunk of weight and felt crazy motivated. That has all fallen to the wayside at this point, and I’m struggling to find my focus again. I’m really disappointed in myself, though I am not giving up the fight!

On the flip side, with all of this stress, I, surprisingly, am not flaring!!! Yay, Orencia!!!! It’s finally kicked in! *knocks on wood* I’ve even been walking about barefoot, something I could never do before—my feet would hurt too badly. All in all, I’m experiencing very little to no joint pain & swelling. I’m really excited and hope it continues! Kick-ass!!

I will try to post more often now that things are finally settling down a bit. I reallyreally need to get back to where I was before the holidays. I miss me. Oh, and I had a crappy birthday. So did my Dad.


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…so says my hubby.

There’s nothing quite like coming home after a hard day’s work to find cat vomit on the bed. Even though we have the four, it’s pretty easy to figure out who exactly the culprit is. Willow.

If Willow were a person, she would be Rosie Perez. She’s got that whole ghetto superstar thing down. She’s a little psychotic, a bit neurotic, and a whole lot of bitchy.

She doesn’t like her long fur. She would rather be naked, and when we get her shaved down in a lion cut, she prances around like she just knows she’s the shit. We haven’t taken her to the groomer’s in awhile, so she’s taken the task on herself of eliminating her fur by pulling it out in mouthfuls here and there as part of her daily cleaning routine. This explains the hairballs.

Willow spends probably 95% of her time on the bed. She only gets down to eat and to use the potty. She likes to sleep. When she’s not sleeping on the bed, she’s “monitoring the situation.”

Regardless, puke on the bed means more laundry for me, and I was almost caught up, darn it. So after throwing a couple blankets in the wash & towels in the dryer, Craig and I were off to Home Depot to find a solution for another issue. Stupid, inconsiderate neighbors.

Earlier in the year, our dear friends next door sold their home and moved away. The people they sold to, Kim and Mike, are the most inconsiderate, thoughtless people I have ever had the unfortunate opportunity to neighbor with. They are constantly, every day, using our driveway to pull in and out of their own tiny driveway, rather than move one of their own cars so they can get out or drive on their own lawn to back out. All without asking for permission. It’s driving Craig and I insane.

Twice this summer, we’ve come home to find a gigantic woodchipper and dump truck in our runway sized driveway because they’re chopping down trees in their backyard. They have never once asked us if this is ok. I’m sure it never even crossed their minds.

(Maybe I should send them a copy of “Fargo”…?)

It seems pretty cut and dried, doesn’t it? Just ask them to stop using our property? Well, here’s where it gets sticky.

Apparently, there’s several inches of our driveway on their land according to the survey map. It’s been this way forever, and we were told about this before we bought the house. However, with the previous neighbors it was not an issue. They were great friends of ours. They always asked if they needed to use the driveway. It never became a day to day habit.

We’ve looked into correcting this problem in the spring by removing the offending piece of driveway, but according to the town, we would need a lawyer and so would they, we’d need their permission, etc…and it’s apparently not as simple as we had thought it would be. Sounds pretty costly. I dunno. We’re going to look into that more closely.

In the meantime though, it’s inches. Not the whole friggin’ driveway, so stop using it like you own it, bitches.

We thought maybe we’d get those reflector thingees you poke into the ground and just line that side of the driveway with them, but we’d need stands or something because the land on the other side of the driveway belongs to them. I’ve thought maybe of getting some big landscaping rocks, big enough they can’t drive over them, and lining the driveway with those, but Craig is worried about ruining the blacktop with sink marks.

We’ve also talked about just going over there and talking to them about it, but we’re concerned it would backfire on us.

I’m really at my wit’s end with these people. Do you all have any ideas? Please leave a comment! The guy at Home Depot last night suggested a shot gun. *grinchuckle* I’m not sure we’re ready to go quite that far.


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Families are weird

sweet-1.png I don’t have a lot of family. Technically, that’s not really correct. My dad’s family is huge, my mom’s too. But I look at family a little differently, and as such, have kinda pieced together my own, picking and choosing those people I feel close to.

Families are weird, and everyone has their own idiosyncratic oddities clamoring about in the proverbial closet. My dad’s family is a typical uppercrust Southern family-large, close knit, old school, and very strongly opinionated. When my parents divorced, I was 6 or 7, and suddenly we became “the black sheep” of the family. You just didn’t get divorced, that wasn’t done-it was shameful. Couple that with the fact that we had moved out of state, and away from “the fold”, and also that I was adopted, and they had never really accepted me as one of their own, and all of a sudden I was a pariah. While I was able to see my relatives occasionally growing up, mostly on holidays, I never really got to know them or grow close to them-I always felt on the outside of this large circle of family. They made me very aware from their actions and closed conversations that I was not a part of “them.” Now, as an adult, I have no desire to form bonds with these people who are little more than strangers; what feelings I have for them are very neutral, and are akin to those of an unbiased observer.

My mom’s side of the family is where the crazy lives. Since her death, I have cut off all contact with those relatives. Previous to her death, my contact with them was very limited as Mom didn’t really want anything to do with them either. There were those, however, who imposed their presence upon us time and again, usually with their hands extended, and because my mom was pretty much the nicest, sweetest lady in the world, she often found herself being used by relatives who really didn’t care one way or the other. *sigh* It’s hard to be cut off from a select few because of a bunch of bad apples, so to be speak. I miss my cousins.

I have mentioned I am adopted. This is not a big secret, but it’s not something I usually share with people. I’m not embarrassed; it’s just not something that comes up usually in conversation. I have known since as long as I could remember, and it’s never been a big deal to me. For better, and more often than not for worse, I consider my adopted parents as “my parents.” I’ve never really had much of an interest in my bio parents.

However, a couple years ago, Craig and I started talking about maybe finding out what we could about my adoption; any family health history would be very helpful, and I became curious, too, about any bio siblings I might have, having spent all of my life as an only child. We wrote to NYS Health Department, sending the various forms & whatnot, not really expecting much, but still looking forward to something.

After several months, I received a small packet of non-identifying info, containing descriptions of my bio parents, ages, religious prefs, that sort of thing. You really don’t get much beyond that unless they have signed a consent as well. What I found out was a little disturbing. I was concieved in the summer of ’69, that I already knew just by doing the math. My mother was 12 at the time, my father 26. *blink* I can’t even begin to imagine the circumstances surrounding that, and I almost wish I didn’t know that little bit that was released to me. Geez. Suffice it to say, it took me a little while to digest this information. We’ve decided that we will no longer be pursuing this.

Prior to this, I’d wonder every time my birthday rolled around, if my bio mom was out there somewhere wondering about me and where I was, as obviously the date would mean something to her as well. Now, I just wonder if my birthday is a cruel reminder of some horrible circumstance.

Strange how life works, huh?


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No longer blonde

sidhe6.gif So, I have red hair now. Well, actually more of a coppery, strawberry blonde. I went to the salon Saturday to get my hair trimmed, and then decided what the heck, I wanna do something diff. I love it. I think I may keep it like this for awhile. I’ll post some pics as soon as possible.

Work was insane today. I was pretty much busy the entire day, which while making the day go by faster, totally killed all my energy, and so we got pizza for dinner and have just kinda been chillin’ ever since. The in-laws are coming this weekend, so by rights, we should be getting the house ready for that, but eh, there’s always tomorrow. I am such a huge procrastinator.

Craig’s watching the Sabres playoffs. *rolls eyes* I think it’s fun to go to games, but watching ’em on TV does nothing for me. Bor-ing. I spent a little while working on some silly self- portraits (again-will post laters!) and also spent a little time with my moon journal & tarot cards. We’re in an Aries moon right now, so I’ve been really having to pay attention to my temper. People tend to get a little hot-headed during an Aries moon, so it’s important to try and not let it run away with you.

Speaking of moons, this coming May is pretty exciting as there’s a Blue Moon on the 31st. A Blue Moon occurs whenever there’s two Full Moons within the same month; the 2nd moon bringing blessings & abundance. It doesn’t happen very often-maybe a couple times a year, I think. My husband and I actually married on a Blue Moon during Lughnasdah, so we were doubly blessed. The first full moon of the month is May 2nd, and occurs during our Beltaine holiday. I heart Beltaine!! I have nothing planned as of yet, but I’ve only just started mulling it over.

My heart goes out to the victims of the Virginia Tech shooting incident today. VT is my dad’s alma mater, and I know he’s upset & glued to CNN. I’ll be saying a little prayer tonight for everyone involved.

Stay safe.


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wink.gif So, I’ve been pretty busy. Spent this afternoon working on reorganizing and reformating Terminally Cute. Not only is there a new look, but I’ve changed alot of the links as well. I was so sick of the old layout, I needed something fresh & new. Lemme know how you likey!

I have also finally succumbed to the evil that is MySpace. You can find me here. Please stop by and holla at me, would you?

Aside from that I’ve been busy working. That’s about it. I’ve gotten super addicted to Lonelygirl15 again, and have been working on some wallpapers and avatars featuring Jonas & Bree. It’s taking me awhile, ’cause I want them to be just so, but as soon as they’re done, I’ll be sure to post them.

Feeling alot better lately-and am getting some of my energy back. FINALLY. I’m actually starting to get interested in writing projects again & stuff. Working on some poetry as well as working on some book & script ideas.

You’ve had to have heard about the huge pet food recall. Our cats & our dog have long been eating a couple of the brands that were mentioned in the recall. Needless to say, we pulled them off those foods (Nutro Max) as soon as we heard, and switched to other brands with no real ill side effects. Bishy did have a bit of an upset tummy the weekend prior to the recall, accompanied by some vomiting, but he’s so sensitive anyway, that’s pretty much a common occurance and nothing to really worry about, though we did watch him very closely after we heard about the recall. The cats have been fine, so I think we’re in the clear all the way around. From what I’ve read, we’ve really lucked out. There’s been alot of deaths, and I can imagine the lawsuits will start to pile up.

I have to call my dad tomorrow. *makes a face* He called last weekend, but I was in the basement doing laundry and didn’t reach the phone in time. I didn’t bother calling back because I didn’t want to ruin my weekend. How horrible is that? Anyway, I think he thinks he’s gonna talk us into coming down over Easter weekend, but that is so not happening. Craig is going to Boston this week, and so when he comes back, we’ll want to just hang out at home and relax. Going to dad’s is like work, and is not relaxing at all. Not to even mention the fact that we have to sleep all squished up in this double bed that’s as hard as a rock, when we’re totally used to our king sized pillowtop. SO uncomfy. I cannot even begin to tell you. Between that and the bitchy instigating comments, and everything else that’s unpleasant about visiting him, it just sucks.

Going to see Grindhouse on Friday, and am totally psyched. Speaking of which, I need to catch up on my movie reviews. I saw “300” in Imax a couple of weeks ago, and it kicked so much ass. *seriousnods* Yep. Go see it.


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According to MSN, a drought in Western Africa and unrest in the Ivory Coast (the world’s biggest cocoa producer) has combined with rising consumer taste for cocoa-rich dark chocolate to raise concerns about a shortage in supply.

…I hope that day never comes. Talk about panic in the streets. What a nightmare. *shivers*


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