Archive for the ‘Panic’ Category

oneday I know, I know. I start posting again only to just disappear without a warning. Didn’t you know that dropping off the face of the earth is one of my best things? Really. It’s true.

Actually, I had intended to just step away for a few days to enjoy the holidays, but as is the tradition in our family, drama-rama happens.

The Saturday after Xmas, we found our water heater had been dying a slow and agonizing death in the basement, probably for several days, as the basement floor was covered in a few inches of water. Luckily, we have a guy and he was able to come over pretty quickly to help take care of things. Craig and Bob popped over to Home Depot, picked up a new water heater, and within a matter of hours, we were all good.

That following Monday I got a call at work from my dad’s neighbor that the ambulance was there and my dad was on his way to the hospital. They weren’t sure what was wrong, other than he had fallen and cut his finger pretty badly. Turns out he had had a heart attack and a stroke, and had fallen twice, dislocating his shoulder as well as lacerating a finger pretty badly. I had taken Wednesday and Friday off to take advantage of the scheduled holiday, and so instead of enjoying a small vacation, I ended up driving in a panic down to Utica to care for my dad. I’ve been going down every weekend since.

His shoulder has been repaired and he’s had a pacemaker put in. He’s now in a stroke recovery facility where he will stay for about six weeks. After that it’s back to the hospital for a bypass. He’s in pretty good spirits for the most part, and seems a lot better since they’ve installed the pacemaker. He has none of the facial lameness that typically accompanies a stroke, though he does have some speech slurring and he’s having issues walking and keeping his balance.

I am exhausted, physically and emotionally just spent. I’m bummed because I have all these things I want to accomplish this year and I haven’t really been able to focus on anything except my dad and just getting through each day.

Prior to this happening, I was doing really well with eating healthy foods, counting my cals and exercising when I could. I’d lost quite a big chunk of weight and felt crazy motivated. That has all fallen to the wayside at this point, and I’m struggling to find my focus again. I’m really disappointed in myself, though I am not giving up the fight!

On the flip side, with all of this stress, I, surprisingly, am not flaring!!! Yay, Orencia!!!! It’s finally kicked in! *knocks on wood* I’ve even been walking about barefoot, something I could never do before—my feet would hurt too badly. All in all, I’m experiencing very little to no joint pain & swelling. I’m really excited and hope it continues! Kick-ass!!

I will try to post more often now that things are finally settling down a bit. I reallyreally need to get back to where I was before the holidays. I miss me. Oh, and I had a crappy birthday. So did my Dad.



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cutiefae.jpg I am having a really bad RA day today. I’m in alot of pain, especially my hands & wrists. It sucks.

I know it’s just another flare, most likely brought on from Dad-related stress, but it’s a little scary, and it reminds me yet again, how physically limited I am now.

Usually, it’s my feet that give me the most trouble, so this is really unusual for me, maybe that’s why I’m a little freaked out.

Anyway, after work, we had some errands to run–grocery shopping at Wegmans, to the animal hospital for ear cleansing solution for Bishy. While we were at the store I picked up some Arthritis Hot; I thought it might be worth a shot, especially at work tomorrow. I’m pretty sure it’s meant more for osteoarthritis, but if I can get any relief at all at this point, even a little, I’ll be a happy camper.

Tonight the plan is a long soak in a nice, hot Jacuzzi with a Darvocet, and then bed. Hopefully, tomorrow will be betters.


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According to MSN, a drought in Western Africa and unrest in the Ivory Coast (the world’s biggest cocoa producer) has combined with rising consumer taste for cocoa-rich dark chocolate to raise concerns about a shortage in supply.

…I hope that day never comes. Talk about panic in the streets. What a nightmare. *shivers*


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