Archive for the ‘Sleep Deprivation’ Category

oneday I know, I know. I start posting again only to just disappear without a warning. Didn’t you know that dropping off the face of the earth is one of my best things? Really. It’s true.

Actually, I had intended to just step away for a few days to enjoy the holidays, but as is the tradition in our family, drama-rama happens.

The Saturday after Xmas, we found our water heater had been dying a slow and agonizing death in the basement, probably for several days, as the basement floor was covered in a few inches of water. Luckily, we have a guy and he was able to come over pretty quickly to help take care of things. Craig and Bob popped over to Home Depot, picked up a new water heater, and within a matter of hours, we were all good.

That following Monday I got a call at work from my dad’s neighbor that the ambulance was there and my dad was on his way to the hospital. They weren’t sure what was wrong, other than he had fallen and cut his finger pretty badly. Turns out he had had a heart attack and a stroke, and had fallen twice, dislocating his shoulder as well as lacerating a finger pretty badly. I had taken Wednesday and Friday off to take advantage of the scheduled holiday, and so instead of enjoying a small vacation, I ended up driving in a panic down to Utica to care for my dad. I’ve been going down every weekend since.

His shoulder has been repaired and he’s had a pacemaker put in. He’s now in a stroke recovery facility where he will stay for about six weeks. After that it’s back to the hospital for a bypass. He’s in pretty good spirits for the most part, and seems a lot better since they’ve installed the pacemaker. He has none of the facial lameness that typically accompanies a stroke, though he does have some speech slurring and he’s having issues walking and keeping his balance.

I am exhausted, physically and emotionally just spent. I’m bummed because I have all these things I want to accomplish this year and I haven’t really been able to focus on anything except my dad and just getting through each day.

Prior to this happening, I was doing really well with eating healthy foods, counting my cals and exercising when I could. I’d lost quite a big chunk of weight and felt crazy motivated. That has all fallen to the wayside at this point, and I’m struggling to find my focus again. I’m really disappointed in myself, though I am not giving up the fight!

On the flip side, with all of this stress, I, surprisingly, am not flaring!!! Yay, Orencia!!!! It’s finally kicked in! *knocks on wood* I’ve even been walking about barefoot, something I could never do before—my feet would hurt too badly. All in all, I’m experiencing very little to no joint pain & swelling. I’m really excited and hope it continues! Kick-ass!!

I will try to post more often now that things are finally settling down a bit. I reallyreally need to get back to where I was before the holidays. I miss me. Oh, and I had a crappy birthday. So did my Dad.



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commandocat.jpgA meme for Monday. Why? Because I’m freaking tired, and just spent three hours of my evening doing laundry and catching up on email. Thank Goddess for work or I’d never get anything done on my NaNo novel. As it is, things are moving pretty slow there as well.

Annnyway, on to the meme, courtesy of Monday’s A Bitch

    Chew On This

1. Did you need braces when you were younger? Yes.

2. If you had to choose between being bitten by a vampire or a werewolf, which would it be? A vampy, of course! Though, seeing as how my NaNo novel is about shifters, maybe I should pick a werewolf.

3. When was the last time you bit off more than you could chew? November 1st rings a bell. *g*

4. Have you ever chipped a tooth? No, but I’ve broken a tooth completely off.

5. If your smile had a name, what would it be? Bob.


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sadkat.jpg It’s been awhile since I updated, I know.

I had orginally planned to take the weekend after NaBloPoMo off, take a blog break, so to speak. My immune system is a big, fat traitor, however. I’ve been really sick, and the thing is, I’m not getting any better. Wicked sore throat, constant and horrible cough, absolutely no voice, achiness, headaches, on & off low grade fever, etc. I’m getting no sleep. The last two weeks have been horrible. The doctor claimed last week it was viral, though since I’m not getting better, and am in fact, getting worse, she called in some antibiotics for me today. I have the RA to thank for my compromised immune system. Hate the RA, hate it.

To top that off, I also somehow ended up with tendonitis in one of the fingers on my right hand. It completely froze in this clawlike position, and I could not straighten my finger at all. Very painful. A little scary, as both Craig and I thought immediately that it was something to do with my RA, and that it was going to be a permanent thing. After a trip to the rheumatologist, a shot of steroids directly into my palm, and several trips to the physical therapist, I am on the mend, as far as that goes. I have to wear a splint for awhile though, and will need to continue with physical therapy for some time. Seems having the RA leaves me prone to things like this. *sigh* Of course.

Craig’s in Boston this week, on business, but will be home tomorrow night-until then it’s just me and the animals. I miss him tons, and it sucks when he has to make these trips, but climbing up the corporate ladder is not all fun & games. He does a great job, and I’m really proud of him.

Tomorrow is actually Craig’s birthday, and while we don’t have any official plans yet, I’m guessing he’ll probably want to go out to dinner Saturday night, if I’m feeling up to it. I’m making his cake tomorrow afternoon, chocolate on chocolate, of course. And I’ve got his birthday shopping and Yule shopping all done, I just need to wrap stuff.

There’s only ten more shopping days ’til Xmas. As far as I know, Craig hasn’t done any shopping at all yet-he better get started! *g* Together, we still need to buy for Craig’s parents, as well as his sister and her husband. We also need to get some gifts for the animals. The cats share a paw shaped stocking, while Bishy has his own bone shaped stocking. The bird has no stocking, but I don’t think he cares. *grinchuckle*

We haven’t decorated yet, or done our cards-we’ll probably do that this weekend. We also need to do some grocery shopping next week. I may bow out of doing cookies this year, it depends how I feel. Gods, so much to do, not much time to do it in, and that’s not even counting cleaning the house. I don’t know how it’s all going to get done, and I’m so irritated that I’m still sick. I feel so tired, just thinking about everything that needs to be done is overwhelming.

Bishy has picked up a new thing that he does. I’d noticed a long time ago that if the moon is out and visible when we take him to go potty, he’s fascinated and will just sit and stare up at it. Pretty cool, and waaay amusing. Lately, he’s obsessed with airplanes, and as soon as he goes outside, no matter what time of day, he’ll search the sky for an airplane. If he sees one, he gets all excited, and as it flies away from him, he tries to chase it. It’s hilarious! I’ll have to try and get some video of it to post. It’s too funny.

Alrighty, that’s about it for now. I promise as soon as I’m feeling better, I’ll step it up as far as content goes. For now, just bear with me, ‘kay?


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the-call-of-c.gif Alrighty. So, time to catch up…

The flight home from Tennessee was great, the weather was perfect. Getting up at 4:30am was gruelling, but we needed to be to the airport by 6am. The advantage of such early flights was getting home at 11am, which gave us alot of the day still, which was awesome. We were sad to leave, of course, but really glad to get home. Our animals totally missed us, so we had quite the little welcoming committee of cats as soon as we walked in the door. We picked up Bishy the following day at the kennel as we figured we’d need some time to unwind and unpack and what not.

We weren’t home long before we decided to go out and take advantage of some of the Black Friday sales. We bought an indecent amount of DVDs, and Craig found a few new shirts & sweaters for work. I didn’t get clothes for myself because I shopped quite a bit before going on vaca, and really didn’t need anything. I need to start my Yule shopping, however…and rather soon! It’s quickly approaching!!

Saturday morning we got up way too early, and headed out to pick up Bish from the kennel. We stopped at Brueggers on the way for cinnamon & sugar bagels with cream sheese. Yums! We board Bishy at Orchard Kennels-they specialize in large dog boarding, and do a fantastic job. This is the longest he’s been away at the kennel though, and we were a bit worried about him. He did ok though, and was also very happy to see us. He did seem very tired, and even now, is still trying to catch up on his sleep. We don’t think he got alot of sleep at the kennel. He was also realllly stinky when we picked him up. So, after spending a few hours at home, it was off to PetSmart as Bishy was scheduled for a sorely needed bath and full grooming session. We picked him up a couple hours later, smelling like holiday cookies, and looking totally spiff. He loves going there, and all the employees know him, and always give him lots of attention, so it’s a struggle getting him out. Especially after getting groomed. He prances around all cute like he knows he’s top dog…and he is. *grinchuckles* At least in our eyes!

This morning, we did some early morning grocery shopping, but that’s it. We’ve been home just hanging out all day. We watched “The DaVinci Code” for the second time-love that movie, and caught up on all the shows we Tivoed while we were gone.

Now, some things I didn’t mention last week…

Issues with the SIL again. Her and her husband were supposed to take us to the airport and pick us up-that was the plan. They offered, we didn’t ask. We have done the same thing for them several times when they have asked, all with no issues on our part. Craig called the morning we were to leave to confirm with them what time they were to pick us up, and apparently, she was acting very…reluctant…kinda like it was a burden, and she just didn’t feel like dealing with it. Craig got off the phone with her feeling very put off by the whole situation. He said her attitude and tone seemed to say pretty clearly that they felt put out by the whole prospect of giving us a ride. After talking about it, we decided we would rather just drive ourselves, and pay the long term parking. This way, we’re not obligated to return any more “favors” and the next time they ask us, we can say no. We decided we’d give them the opportunity to “back out” and called them and said that the neighbors had offered to take us as well, so it was up to them what they wanted to do. Of course, they backed out. We weren’t surprised. It’s funny, they ~always~ ask us to watch their cat, or ask us for rides to & from the airport, or ask to borrow stuff, but when we need something, it’s like a huge imposition. *sigh* It used to make me really sad that she treated me so terribly. I had thought we could be friends. Now, it just makes me really mad that she’s beginning to treat Craig the same way. She’s such a selfish, self-involved bitch sometimes. I really wish she would just grow the hell up, and realize that the world doesn’t revolve around her. There are other people on this planet, ya know.

I called my dad on Thanksgiving. Several times actually. He never picked up. Now, I always call on the holidays, or he calls me. I KNOW he knew it was me, and he still chose not to answer. *hugesigh* I got really upset. I didn’t let it ruin the day though, and I kept it between Craig and I. It really really hurts me, still, everytime he does something like this, even though I’ve dealt with this my entire life, and shouldn’t be surprised by his actions. He’s just such a complete and total asshole. I would give everything for just a few moments of humanity and real emotion from my dad. Minutes of just being treated like a daughter that a father loves dearly. I never had that. I never will. I told Craig Thanksgiving day that I was done with my dad, though I’m not even really sure what that means. I told him that sometimes I feel like I just became out of nothing…like I was hatched from an egg or dropped from the sky. I have no real connections of family, just shadows. Not even that, maybe.

Over vaca, we played a few games, one of which was dominos. Now, my granny taught me how to play dominos when I was like 6 or 7, and I haven’t played since that long ago, either. I had forgotten all about how to play. I’m a quick learner though, and won almost every single hand, every game played. We also played a variation on dominos called Spinners. I am now completely and hopelessly addicted to both games, and will be asking for them both on my Yule list. *grinwink*

It’s taken me a few days to recover from traveling. I’ve been very tired, and running around here and there over the weekend prolly only made it harder. I was really lucky with the RA over the vaca, the only issues I’m having besides the tiredness, which is par for the course, are the continuing issues in my left thumb, and my right foot. I’m beginning to wonder if maybe the decrease in my methotrexate dose (7 tablets once weekly to 6 tablets once weekly) from my last appointment may be the culprit here. Kinda sucks as we’d been hoping to wean me off the methotrexate eventually. My next appointment is in January, and I’m loathe to schedule another before then, as my general practioner wants me to see a therapist for my stress and I’m not sure yet what exactly that will entail and how much it will cost.

I will try and post some pics of vaca this week. I have some cute ones!


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kitten.png We’re home. *hugeyawnstretch*

I’ll post alot more tomorrow…for right now all that can be said is that I’ve been up since 4:30am, and between traveling early this morning, and then doing the shopping thing once we arrived home, as well as getting everything unpacked & put away, I am completely beat.

More later.

Sleepy Smoochies,

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del.gif Today’s been kind of a weird day. I’ve been feeling very nostalgic today. Then tonight, I was online, cleaning out some files and doing some organizing while listening to Stevie Nicks, when I ran across a link, which like the yellow brick road, led me to some old friends, and a place far away that was once a home, of sorts.

Very cool.

Now, I find it’s just after 1am, and I’m still sitting here at the compy, still listening to Stevie. Tried to reach a dear friend of mine for a chat, but we’d just missed each other. Our timing has always been off.

Eh, I need to go to bed. I haven’t stayed up late like this in forever.


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